As an awkward middle schooler, I barely knew how to socialize, much less apply makeup to my face. And for the entirety of those four years I didn’t really care that much. Most days I showed up to school barefaced and on the rare occasion, wearing a couple coats of Claire’s mascara and a shiny lip gloss or flavored chap stick. Outside of school hours, I dabbled in fun eyeshadow colors and the like but, never really wore any of these looks out of the house. My makeup collection was an equal balance between makeup for children and expired drugstore products handed down to me from various people. But of course, being a naïve twelve-year-old, I didn’t know any of this information and just wanted to play dress up on the weekends.

The one time I did wear eyeshadow as a middle schooler was for the eighth-grade dance. I remember panicking the night before because everybody had made makeup appointments except for me. I needed a look and I had no idea where to start. My mom suggested that purple eyeshadow would pop against my bright white dress. A purple smokey eye with black eyeliner might have been a good choice however, my eighth-grade version of that was simply a dark purple eyeshadow smudged all over my eyes. I’m almost positive I didn’t wear foundation or anything else on my face besides mascara and some kind of sparkly lip gloss. Moral of the story: I walked around looking as if somebody had given me two black eyes.

High school was a completely different story. On Orientation day, girls showed up with thick eyeliner and foundation caked across their face. That was when the experimentation really started. Eyeliner was a trend I so desperately wanted to perfect. I tried navy blue eyeliner, black gel liner, dark eyeliner in the waterline, liquid eyeliner, basically anything that had the potential to smear throughout the day. When I wanted a more “natural look” I settled for foundation that ended up being a tinted acne treatment once I finally read the bottle, a concealer way too dark for my skin tone, and a sparkly gold eyeshadow all over my lids with no form of primer. So basically, by the end of the school day, I was a creasy and greasy mess. And yet, looking in the mirror after school, I saw nothing wrong with it and started the process over again the next morning. I honestly wish I had decent pictures of this phase but, my lack of professional camera quality and knowledge about good lighting was also nonexistent.

It wasn’t until junior year when something (thankfully) clicked. I was always envious of my best friend who rocked a gray smokey eye on the daily. How did she make it look so easy? And where did she learn how to do it? When I asked her these questions she gave her infamous answer of “I don’t know.” But I NEEDED to know. I remember sitting in my room and thinking one day “I want to know how to do makeup.” Broad, I know, but I had to start somewhere. So, I went to the place where I thought I might find help: YouTube. What my little heart searched for I have no idea but, all the buzz in the beauty realm seemed to be about the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. So of course, the first thing I did was put the $54 eyeshadow palette on my Christmas wish list. By the grace of the makeup Gods I was granted my wish and the Naked 3 palette was mine. With absolutely no idea on what kind of look to do, I spent hours searching for tutorials on both YouTube and Pinterest. The looks on YouTube seemed a little too complex for a beginner such as myself so I stuck to Pinterest for the time being. One of the first few results ended up being a nice, simple look with just 3 colors. The pictures showed the three eyeshadows creating a sort of gradient effect on the eye. It looked easy enough to me so I made a new board named makeup, pinned the picture (yes, I’m pretty sure this was the first pin I ever saved to a board), and carried on with the process. I have no recollection of how this eyeshadow came out the first time but, I will not hesitate to reveal that this was basically the only eye look I wore for the next year and a half.

Sometime soon after I started playing with this palette, I realized my eyeshadow was still creasing. Luckily, along with the Naked 3 palette, Urban Decay had sent samples of their eyeshadow primer which I had so graciously ignored until this point. I don’t recall my exact reaction to the wonderful product that is eyeshadow primer but, I can imagine it was like discovering gold. I do remember however, looking up online where to buy this magical substance and that a store named Sephora carried it. At this point, I knew what Sephora was but, I had never bought anything from there. Well, my overjoyed-self went to the mall the next day and dropped $20 of her Christmas money on an eyeshadow primer because that’s what seemed right.

By the middle of senior year, my makeup obsession was going places. My eyeliner game was improving, drugstore mascara had become my favorite product, and I may have been applying foundation with my fingers but hey, at least it was foundation at this point. As the winter months passed by, the excitement of prom began to draw near. Because I was a paranoid teenager and prom seemed like the most important day of my life, I booked an appointment with Sephora over spring break to try out a certain look. That went well and I ended up buying the Urban Decay Naked 2 palette because 1. I had the third one and loved it already and 2. Because that’s what the woman mainly used to create the look on my eyes.

Well, the middle of May had come quicker than I had anticipated and when I went to call for my prom makeup appointment every. makeup. store. was. booked. To say I was panicking was an understatement. This was going to be the eighth-grade dance all over again. To quell my anxiety, my mom asked if I remembered what the woman at Sephora had used to create the look a few months earlier. By chance, I did actually remember a majority of the items and luckily, had the Naked 2 palette already. That night I rushed my dear mother to Sephora and was pulling everything I remembered off the shelves. I don’t know how much that woman paid to make her daughter shut up but honestly bless her soul.

I managed to pull myself through prom night and look at least presentable. Looking back, I would’ve done so many things differently, mainly because I know better now. (I was still applying foundation with my fingers at this point and used a single synthetic brush for all eyeshadow blending purposes.) But, from that moment on, I never looked back. Makeup tutorials became a staple in my life. Trips to different stores for new makeup were beyond exciting. I worked at Ulta for six months, hated retail, but I still did it! I experimented with colors, products, and ideas I never envisioned myself tackling years prior. Fast forward to now and the obsession has not dwindled. More than ever, I find inspiration in the smallest things and look forward to doing my makeup every chance I get. I’m not saying I’m a beauty guru but, my skills have definitely improved. I have an Instagram and blog dedicated to all things makeup. Thinking back to how this obsession started makes me smile. All it took was a little bit of genuine curiosity to spark such a monumental passion.

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